


I was red

by Scherry



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Extended Metaphors, Light Angst, M/M, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 06:11:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14278587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scherry/pseuds/Scherry
Summary: Baekhyun has lived through many colors, but he's always been addicted to being red.





	I was red

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off a poem I've posted on my blog. I just loved the whole metaphore thing too much for my own good. Here's the link in case any of you guys want to check it out: https://goo.gl/d2jacZ

_ Red _

Baekhyun said Kyungsoo was red.

Some people thought he was talking about the strength that was associated to that color, so mystic; maybe Kyungsoo was strong, fluid and vital like blood. To Baekhyun, though, Kyungsoo was red for reasons more vital than blood. Kyungsoo was red because this is the color for passion.

Maybe Baekhyun himself was red, soaked in love and bleeding because of it continuously. Not that the love he felt was ungrateful, but because he was too surrendered and too subject to the unhappiness that could come with it.

That’s why he kept trying to hide behind veils wove with little white lies and full of transferred feelings.  _ “Kyungsoo is red with love” _ . Maybe only that could make him convince himself that he wasn’t so red inside, because once the crimson tint hits your soul, you’re certainly doomed.

 

 

_ Pink _

Although he was red with love – actually, he was drowning in colors-, his cheeks would still turn pink; as if Kyungsoo was capable of drowning the passion and leave him floating in that suave pink blush. Or as if he could let his guard down only when they were together.

The pink in his face seemed like it’d never leave and Baekhyun prayed for that. While they were together life was like stepping on cotton candy and seeing everything through rose colored lenses; it felt like he was high all the time – the oxytocin drugging him- and light as a feather.  When he looked at the pink on Kyungsoo’s face, Baekhyun felt like it was okay to be high forever.

He was seeing life in pink shades and that was fine. It was calmer and more organized than to be burning crimson 24 hours a day, and so much more intimate.

 

 

_ Green _

But then, he’s got a green light from life and it turned official: he was rotating around Kyungsoo like he was his own Sun. Those were promising years, the ones that would change his life forever, at least that was what everyone used to say, but Baekhyun was still too green to live a love that grand.

He was led to experiment less pure feelings. He was green with jealousy, with greed and need.

Baekhyun was quick to understand that he was burning crimson from inside out, however he couldn’t tell if Kyungsoo was burning the same way. He saw himself desperate and distressed, envying anything and anyone able to make Kyungsoo red and greedy like him.

Somewhere in his head, Baekhyun believed Kyungsoo was the only one capable of making him red and that boy was addicted to this color.

 

 

_ Yellow _

Exactly for all these reasons, Baekhyun turned yellow.

He, who thought he’d be red forever, saw himself gradually fade along with that intense and bright color. He was terrified, scared, addicted. He didn’t even realized when he started running away from reality, since it was filled with whispers and kisses given in front of sunsets.

However, it was obvious that he’d stay in that color. Baekhyun was stuck on Kyungsoo, just like the half-hearted smiles the latter would throw at him, each time Baekhyun begged him to make him feel red once more.

 

 

_ Blue _

Suddenly, Baekhyun had not a tiny tint of red in him anymore.

He was all blue, trembling in cold right underneath the sun – and no longer rotating around it. He was losing himself completely, letting go of his most beautiful addiction to turn into a cold, blue and sad body.

He was so focused on retrieving what was slipping through his fingers, that he didn’t even noticed when his skin became ivory and all that blood froze in his veins – now so blue. Baekhyun wished to reencounter Kyungsoo on the sky, where he used to shine so brightly, but when others saw him against sunlight, he was just a shadow.

Growing darker to others, however growing clearer before his eyes.

 

 

_ Grey _

And from blue, little by little, he turned into grey.

It felt like pure despair to be needy and anxious to see his blood run red and hot inside himself again. More than once, he looked at himself in the mirror and saw an addicted man, a decadent one and so, so grey.

Baekhyun missed being black or white; he missed being defined; he missed being complete, but still being him. He cursed himself for being too weak and for turning grey, and for giving himself away so profoundly that his colors had molten in an irreversible way.

He was also afraid of never stop looking like smoke, because he had the impression that his body would dissolve into ashes at any moment soon. And the only things that wouldn’t leave his mind was how much he needed to be red one last time, before he’d lose himself completely in that grey scale.


End file.
